Boston is Dead to Me

After survivinig the ordeal of watching Game 1 with 200 Southern California Red Sox fans, I find myself yet another step closer to disavowing my allegiance to Boston sports teams. Although I will never be able to sever myself from the Red Sox, the Celtics and the Patriots have been sacrificed so that the Sox may live on. Unfortunately, I'm running out of corpses and I fear that another 10 years of Sox/Patriots domination will lead to me finally cutting ties and becoming a Mariners fan.

As I have nother half hour before my plane back to New York boards, I will list what is awful about Red Sox Nation
1) the grey, faded hats- also known as the White Power cap.
2) Red Sox visors- especially when they are worn by girls who attend BU or BC
3) Kevin Millar- On a team that features arguably the greatest right-handed hitter since Ted Williams, the new Straw the Stirs the Drink, arguably the most dominant pitcher of all time (over a five year stretch), a Hall of Fame power pitcher, last year's batting champ and a 30 inch tall midget, why is this worthless, strike-out prone numpty the team's official mouthpiece? Every time I hear a Sox fan say, "Cowboy Up!" I know immediately that they are come-latelies. Any real Sox fan hates Kevin Millar.
4) Optimism- Most of being a Red Sox fan is that strange mix of self-hatred and eternal hope. If you are under the age of 30, part of you has to be rooting against the Sox because you don't think that you've quite earned it yet. The Red Sox nation who did not stand by the team during the Scott Cooper All Star years, are the ones who are jubilant. They do not understand pain, and part of me wishes the worst upon them. A line drive that ricochets off Kevin Millar's face and then carries over the right-field fence would be very nice.
5) the city of Boston- is a fucking hole. The problems people have with Boston are well-documented and I don't have to go into it here.

Lebron and Paul Pierce exchanged heated words last night. Go Bron-Bron.