2 Hours Hit and Run

This past Friday night, after being on the red end of a violent Scrabble thrashing, I met up with Ark in Union Square and took the subway back up to the West Side poker room. After taking $200 out of my lucky Korean grocery ATM, I sat down at a 1/2 NL table in the back of the main room. The only open seat was to the right of the dealer--a spot that I absolutely hate--especially at an unbalanced table. The three best players, as far as I could tell, were seated in a row to my left, two terrible calling stations were to their left and a couple of young college kids filled out the table. I spent the first few hands contemplating whether or not to get up and try another table, but felt much better after my eighth-or-so hand when I busted a kid out of his last $50--my K-10 diamond flush versus his two middle pair. The kid got up and I sat down in his seat, directly in front of the dealer, with an old, vaguely Eastern European man on tilt to my right (I recognized him from my first trip to the UWS Poker room, when he misread his hand against me, mistaking a diamond for a heart...) and a college kid with a big stack to my left.

For the next hour, I picked up one playable hand (Q-10 S/on the button) which hit Q-9-6 on the flop. The horrifically obese big blind raised to fifteen dollars and the rest of the players folded to me. I did my usual hemming-and-hawing routine, where I grimace while looking at the cards and shoot nervous glances at the other guy. I hadn't played a hand since this guy had sat down, so I didn't think he'd call a raise, especially with the hand I put him on, K-Q or J-Q. There was about $50 in the pot already, so I raised to $45 total. He folded.

A half-hour later, I limped in with 33 in the small blind. The guy three to my left raised to fifteen. Four people called his bet, making it around a $85 pot. I owed $13 into it, which, for a bottom pocket pair, wasn't quite making odds. But I was bored. The flop came out 8-3-J rainbow. With 4 callers of a $15 bet, I knew that I was probably looking at one or possibly two other pocket pairs, so checking could give someone a free shot at their 2 outer. (and a 8-3-J flop had a high chance of checking around, especially at a tight table...) I wanted to chase out other small pocket pairs, hoping to isolate myself against A-J, K-J S, AK or AQ. I bet $10. The pre-flop raiser called. The turn was a Queen. I checked, hoping that the pre-flop raiser had picked up 2 pair, which would force him to re-raise. He raised to $40 immediately. Given his bad position $15 raise pre-flop, I thought this $40 bet meant that he wasn't trying to trap me on the flop, which probably meant AQ. I did a little more acting when the bet came around, before raising to $100, leaving about $50 behind me, and he immediately called. The last card was a 4. After grimacing for effect, I threw the rest of my chips in the pot. The big blind shrugged and called. I flipped over the threes, he flipped over AQ. In retrospect, given the size of the pot and the fact that the Big Blind was a pretty good player, I think this was the best hand I've ever played. I put him on the correct hand and made the right bets to not represent the little set. I wanted him to think that I had hit A-J or K-J on the flop, which, given the betting, is what he thought I had.

ARK and I were already running late, so I decided to just stand up and leave at that point. But I had the button and thought I'd play another hand while I stacked my chips. I looked down at a pair of wired Aces. There were a couple of limpers to the Old Eastern European man, the one who slightly resembled Sam Watterson, who raised to $20. He had about $30 behind him and had gone all-in at least 5 times since I'd sat down, so I thought I'd just put him all in, hoping that some of the players at the table would think I was the type of streak-riding chump who opens way up after winning one big pot. I raised to $50. The table folded to Bulgaria's McCoy, who threw all his chips in. I flipped over the Aces. He had K-J suited. We both missed the flop, the turn and the river. I packed up my $485 in chips and left, forgetting in my haste to tip the dealer.

It's occurred to me here that it's difficult to write well about poker. While the activity has a certain glamour to it, those peripheral details that could be exploited and conflated--the degenerate lives of the players, the clacking of chips, the video cameras everywhere--are not of any interest to the semi-addicted semi-pro. All that seems relevant are reads and math, two subjects that I can only explain in simple, terrible language. I would describe the other players in more detail, but in all honesty, poker is one of the only activities--basketball is the other--where all my observational faculties shut completely off. So, I apologize...

Winnings: $285
Total Semi Pro winnings: $347