Fantasy Power Rankings Week of December 8th

Welcome to the premiere edition of the New Power Rankings. Hopefully, the added options that blogspot gives me over the Yahoo Message board will enhance our league's chatter.

1. Ready to Die- Paul, please change the name. You've used a rap-influenced name for the past three seasons now. I'm tired of it. Especially this season, when you've easily got the best team. Barring massive injuries or more season-long suspensions, PMin's team should cruise through the season in first place. Stoudamire, Tinsley and Ginobili have made career jumps- there's no reason to think that their production will drop off.

'Mek has been throwing up 19-10 numbers the past couple of weeks, and Dwight Flanders has been a double-double all season long. What has changed over the past 5 years that rookies, especially high school kids and 1-and-dones can come in and be so instantly successful? Is it just coincidence that 6 guys in their first 3 years are either All Stars or MVP candidates? Perhaps.

Oh, and Paul also has Kevin Garnett.

2. Marriage is Sacred- The backcourt is Gilberto, Andre Miller and Rip Hamilton. The frontcourt is Kung Pau Gasol, Austin Croshere and the Matrix. The Centers are Eddy Masaman Curry and Mark Blount. Have there ever been as many mid-level exception guys on one team? More 1 time all stars? How this team is contending, I have no idea. I guess Peja has come around somewhat and Gilberto can put up BDiddy numbers, but I'm skeptical that a team so full of stop-gap solutions can actually contend for one of the top three spots.

The I-Have-More-Free-Time factor has not been enough for Goldwyn to make it into the top of half either of the past two fantasy seasons, but this year it seems to be all that's keeping Marriage is Sacred near the top of the leaderboard. Over the course of a season, the Free Time factor loses some of its impact as playing rotations are solidified.

3. Poo Buttass- Here are the questions facing Poongie's team in the upcoming months.
a) Will Chris Webber's back/knees/feet hold up? Will he be able to continue his productiveness, even if the Kings look to be mired in about the 6 spot in the West? (no. He'll get hurt by February)
b) Will Bron-Bron keep up his MVP numbers? (Yes.)
c) Will Big Z's foot not explode by mid-January? (PK)
d) Can a team stay in the top 4 spots with a frontcourt that features Kyle Corver, Pavlo Brezec and Keith Van Horn? (No.)

For those who don't know, the rumor around Chapel Hill is that Jeff McInnis left early for the NBA draft because he got caught sleeping with Phil Ford's wife. Carolina usually throws a small party/press conference for the players who skip town for the draft, but for McInnis, the Athletic Department only released a statement in the press.

As for Phil Ford, he went on to join Larry Brown on the Piston's bench. Most recently Phil ws seen in the brown suit, jumping on the fat Pistons fan that got punched by Artest and JO.

4. Haywood Jablomi- Gulotta had Artest, which means that he lost 25 points, 6 rebounds, 3 assists and a bunch of steals. Expect this team to start floundering once Bobby Simmons comes back down to earth. He has no business averaging 16 a game.

Al Harrington is just as valuable as Pau Gasol this year. This makes 2 seasons straight where everyone's "sleeper" (last year was Zach Randolph) has actually worked out. Is that a record? I can't think of a single other instance when the big sleeper pick EVER worked out. Joe Crede? Eric Snow? Jeremy Giambi?

Gulotta's stay near the top is completely the result of a screwy scoring system where FT% counts for 10 points, but FG% is irrelevant. Gulotta is near the top in 3PTM, steals, turnovers and assists. Given that the only help he has coming to him is BDiddy's 20 game season, I'll go ahead and say that- barring a massive trade that would bring some big men-- Gulotta won't do well enough in rebounds, blocks and points to stay near the top.

5. Union 38 All Stars- At the beginning of the season, I picked Wal-Mart's team to finish in the top 3, but through a month of the season, it's become quite obvious that Ryan's never going to quite be able to solve the issue of underachieving players.

a) Paul Pierce- he needs to be putting up 25-26 a game. Right now, he's at 22 and isn't shooting the 3 ball as well as he has in the past.
b) Kenyon Martin- Rough start in Denver with too many power forwards clogging the paint and a shoot-first point guard in Andre Miller. Actually, I think that Denver should just tank the season and pick up Jarret Jack or Ray Felton in the next draft. They desperately need a running, passing point guard to get Carmelo and Martin some easy shots.
c) Shaq- the biggest disappointment of them all. 20-11 makes him just one step up from Emeka Okafor. If Shaq was putting down 30 and 15, Wal Mart would be in first place right now. I honestly don't know why Shaq isn't putting up those numbers, I guess that he needs another month or so to acclimate to the offense.